Humility

Humility is a cornerstone of recovery. I used to think of myself as a humble person, but it was a kind of counterfeit humility. I lacked a correct view of myself. I was selfish, using lust to meet my most cherished and intimate needs. I traded short term pleasure for long term pain.

Self loathing became the standard. I did not like who I was, and I was trapped in the downward spiral of my addiciton. Pride and fear were at the root of my lack of confidence. I was more concerned with my image and how people thought of me than I was about doing the right thing and being honest about myself.

When I acknowledged to myself that I was same sex attracted, I was set free of the bondage of living with the lie. This was the beginning of having a truer picture of myself, acknowledging that I needed help and starting a real humility. Having a more realistic view of myself is a major part of my recovery. I am powerless over lust and my life was unmanagable. Humility based on honesty is creeping into my life and filling my cracked spirit with life giving acceptance and love.

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